Flirting
Academy
- From the Thorsons website - an interview with
Peta
First for Flirting
- UK's only flirting academy
0700 4 354 784 +44
700 4 354 784
info@flirtingacademy.com
FLIRT COACH
How to Charm your Way to Friendship, Love and Professional
Success
Peta Heskell helps us
discover the lost art of playfulness. By flirting we can
regain that invincible cheekiness that charms new friends
and partners. Learn techniques in body language, tone of
voice and mirroring of language. How to allow yourself to
have frivolous fun with complete strangers and become the
perfect flirt.
"…it would be near impossible
to spend days with this woman and not learn something
extremely useful about flirting. Or connecting. Or even
Latin American Dancing."
Style Magazine, Sunday Times
Flirting is about possibilities,
fantasies and a projection of our self on the large
screen. Her energizing program helps you to be yourself at
your best and love it. She encourages you to see flirting
as a natural life skill to use, not just in romantic
relationships, but in every human interaction to make
communication more personalized, more influential, and
more fun!
For an introduction to the author and
her work, check out the following interview:
Q: Why have so
many of us lost the knack of flirting?
Flirting is a part of the natural design
of humans. Unfortunately, well meaning parents, teachers
and friends have programmed it out of us. When a child
shows its natural exuberance by say dancing on the table
and is told 'sit down and stop showing off' it is learning
to withhold part of it's natural personality. Teenagers
may experience their natural warmth and friendliness
translated into their being a 'dreadful flirt' so in order
to fit in with their peers they try to calm down.
Political correctness is the enemy of
flirting. 30 years ago, the workplace was considered a
brilliant greenhouse for growing great relationships.
Nowadays the environment in many offices is more often
than not icy cold. Some men are too scared to flirt
because they fear being accused of sexual harassment and
some women are unwilling to flirt in case they are accused
of using their wiles to get on destroying a natural
inbuilt instinct.
Q: Do you think flirting could be viewed as a step
backwards for the women's movement?
Yes, but a good one! It is a step
backwards to regaining some of our femininity. Taking that
step backwards doesn't negate all the steps we've made to
gain respect and equality, it revives our natural
abilities and adds to what we've already achieved. It's
time to revive and harness our feminine energy and show
how powerful that can be and even more so, because we are
being not women trying on a man's way, but women, being
women and wonderfully so!
Q: Are there different rules for both men and women?
No, I don't think so. The only rule I
have for flirting is to feel good first yourself and make
the person or people you are with feel as good. How you go
about it is much the same. I'd advise caution to those who
are tactile. Men should be a wary of being familiar
because it can scare some less tactile women and likewise
women should take care how they touch because some men may
take this as a come on.
Q: How can flirting help with your everyday relations
with friends and family?
Flirting, in my book, involves feeling
good about yourself and making others feel good. When we
become familiar with people sometimes, we take them for
granted and forget to give them that little boost. A well
placed compliment or praise given with a smile and a
giggle can make someone’s day.
Q: What else can 'flirting' accomplish for your life
other than seducing a possible mate?
Flirting when done well sends out
attractants from us to others. We can infuse this with
deep sexuality or we can keep it light and smiley. When we
behave in such a way that we give off the good feelings we
get, other people pick up on it and want to be around us.
Humans can be attractive sexually or socially or both.
This means that if someone is up for a job against others
with similar work related qualifications and expertise,
the person who has the most endearing nature and makes the
interviewers feel good will get the job over the person
who is less so. Flirting is a great social skill. The best
flirts, and it's been said before, do it with everyone. A
great flirt can put a smile on anyone's face and a good
time feeling in anyone's heart. And if you can do that,
people will naturally want you to be in their team, on
their committee, at their parties and sometimes in their
beds!!
Q: How can you flirt for success in the workplace
without causing trouble or professional jealousy?
By being genuine. Flirt with the people
who might be your rivals. Make them feel good about you
and themselves and then flirt with the people who count.
Yes, it is manipulative, smiling at someone or telling
them a joke is manipulative. You are manipulating them to
laugh. Great stuff. Long live 'manipulation' coupled with
integrity and love!!! It'll work every time. You also have
to remember that sometimes professional jealousy is not
about you being wrong, it is about someone else thinking
there's never enough to go round.
Q: How can you cope with rejection from your flirting
advances?
The more you learn to feel good about
yourself, the more you can brush off rejection as someone
making a decision that is right for them. It is not that
you are no good, you just aren't right for them. Learn to
love yourself from inside and you won't be driven by the
need for others to love you. The bonus is that when you
don't desperately need recognition and love from outside
because you give it to yourself, guess what, it comes in
automatically!! You become attractive not just attracted!
Q: How would you deal with a partner who flirts with
others?
If your partner is flirting in a
friendly way or even in a slightly suggestive way, it
probably means they are outgoing, like making others feel
good and socially competent. I'd look at them and think
how wonderful it is that this person is with me. I'd also
be grateful because I flirt with other people too. I know
in the final count who's bed I'm sleeping in and sometimes
a friendly flirt around the room generates all kinds of
exciting feelings which your partner can benefit from or
vice versa!!!
How much flirting is too much is
something you have to agree on an individual basis. Always
be responsible for your own feelings. No one can make you
feel bad unless they physically attack you. Choose to feel
good about yourself and you may find your 'jealousy'
dissipating to be replaced with a pride that you have been
wonderful enough to attract such a sociable friendly and
sexy partner!
Q: What are the benefits of flirting within a committed
relationship?
It keeps the relationship alive. In a
committed relationship couples share a lot of intimate
secrets. They know which buttons to press to turn on their
partner. Flirting within a relationship can go from mildly
fun to heavily sexual - both indoors and in public.
Sometimes whispering in your partner's ear something that
triggers a great sexual memory can be enough to send their
temperature soaring.
Flirting in a relationship reminds each
partner of the way their relationship began and brings
back memories of the lust and fun you had in the
beginning.
Q: What are your top tips for successful flirting?
-
Be who you are
and learn to love yourself the way you are more than
anything in the world
-
If you talk to
yourself or create images of failure stop right now
and begin to talk nicely to yourself. Visualize things
working out OK no matter what the outcome.
-
Imagine you
have a flexible invisible shield all around you. If
someone rejects you, imagine it deflecting off the
shield. If you get a no, go on to the next. It's a
numbers game.
-
Stop worrying
about what you've got to say and focus on finding out
about the other person and what makes them feel good.
You'll appear interesting by being interested.
-
Develop your
flirting muscle by learning to smile at and compliment
people everyday in a genuine way. Make people feel
good for no good reason.
